I can't believe it's the end of May already. The month ended well. I spent the day at the hospital. I had lunch with the other NICU moms. That always helps me. Talking about our concerns and having someone to talk to that knows exactly what I am going through is a life saver. 

Bryce is now 3 pounds! I am so proud. Every pound will be so exciting for me. I spent time talking to the doctors today to find out that Brody is actually the one doing exceptionally well. He isn't on IV fluids or a breathing tube. He is doing everything a baby should be doing. Bryce is doing good, they said no lung or heart issues just a few breathing problems that are to be expected because of being premature. They are very happy with how well Brody is doing. So that makes me happy. 

Blake and Kendal are somewhat adjusting to the hospital life. We spend time at the play room and the fountains outside. They argue who will push the elevator buttons every single time and of course that pushes our buttons. We read lots of books and spend lots of time in the cafeteria. I think they are ready for their normal life back. But they are doing great and hanging in there with us. 

I am excited to see what is going to happen in June. I know they will get bigger and things will start getting easier. (I hope)  The twins are so sweet. I love all 4 of my kids. They are all beautiful blessings :)

This is BRYCE COLE

This is BRODY WANE

Our baby boys are beautiful!!! 

This is our home away from  home for the next few months. It can get a little stressful so we still find other things to do to occupy our minds.  

We like to go to this fountain. We sit and listen to the water.

 The kids, oh and Josh like to throw pennies and make wishes :)   

I cried in the room today. It's so hard not being able to hold your baby, feed your baby, change your baby, or dress your baby. I try to hold it in but, sometimes it's more than I can handle. Another month and a half seems so far away. I know it's coming... I love Brody and Bryce so much! They look at me when I hold their little hands and touch their heads. They know I am their mama and it melts my heart. It will be so wonderful when they come home. I am counting the days :) 

~Today I turned 33~

 I started the day by renewing my drivers license at the DMV. Today I decided to become an organ donor. Spending 5 weeks in the hospital really makes you think about things like that.  The heart by Oklahoma means I am a donor now. I am really proud of my decision.

I received a few cards in the mail. I love Birthday cards! I love any kind of HAPPY mail.  And Birthdays should make you happy :)

I spent a few hours up at the hospital with my babies. They are growing and doing good. It's still going to be a long process but we are getting there. I love my miracle babies. They share my birth month with me. I find that very special <3 

Then Josh decided to take me to one of my favorite restaurants...   The Cheesecake Factory!!! 

He opted to get a babysitter but I wanted my kids with me. 

They sang Happy Birthday and got a free sundae the cheesecake I picked out and paid for. It was soooo worth it!! I thought it was cool the plate said, Happy Birthday to you!

We split the cake 4 ways and there was still so much left!

 

Love this man! He makes me so happy. My happiness is always so important to him. 

 

My children are the greatest gift of all

Over all I had a wonderful birthday! Last year we had a tornado and this year my babies are in the nicu. I am looking forward to next year hoping to have a normal birthday with all 4 of my kids. I am ready for this year. I hope 33 will be good to me. Thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes. It really means a lot :) Hooray for another year!

Josh had to attend a funeral today. He was asked to be a pal bearer. It again reminded me how fragile life is. Prayers go out to the Ingram family during this hard time.

While he was gone I stayed home rested, pumped, and watched tv. The down time was much needed. Kendal wore her bathing suit all day and begged to play in the water. I kept putting it off and when I decided to let her I found her napping on the couch. She must have needed the down time too.

The babies are doing good and gaining weight. They have both developed yeast infections and are on antibiotics. The nurse scared me when she said it could get in their blood stream and that would cause problems. So please say a prayer for my sweet boys.

Now it's time for american idol.. I am excited about the finale!!!

These days have been a bit challenging. What I considered a normal life has turned into anything but normal. In November I found out I was expecting a baby. And if I'm being totally honest I wasn't too happy about it. I had my doubts after miscarrying January 28, 2010. We have a boy and a girl and as much as Josh had longed for a third child, I made it very clear that I was content with the 2 kids we have. Going through a miscarriage again would be devastating. And that was that. So I thought... When I had missed my monthly friend I knew something was up, I told Josh that I might be pregnant. He just said it was stress or my hormones but surely I wasn't pregnant. 2 weeks later I decided to test and sure enough it was POSITIVE! I cried but knew I had to do whatever it took to make sure this baby made it into the world. I started the doctor visits ASAP, ate healthy, and tried to remain calm. Then January 28, 2012 I started bleeding. I cried saying not again and it's the same day. Josh rushed me to the hospital and I was waiting to hear the worst news possible. After not hearing a heart beat they did an ultrasound. I saw the baby! I was so relieved. The baby was laying there PERFECTLY. I just laid there looking at my baby when all of a sudden another baby appeared. That's right. TWINS! Josh and I were so shocked we didn't sleep a wink the whole night that night. What a surprise. The bleeding was from placenta previa. So I was on bed rest for 2 months. I had ultrasounds every 2 weeks and I was so happy to hear the previa had lifted and I could get out of bed. As soon as I heard get out of bed my activity level increased. Josh and I took the kids to the medieval fair. It was really hot and I felt like something wasn't right. We didn't stay long. As soon as we get home I went to bed. When I turned in the bed that night I felt water. I jumped up and water was all over the floor. I was 23 weeks and my water had broken. I quickly dressed and rushed to the hospital. They sent me to OU Childrens where they stopped my labor with magnesium. This was on April 2nd. I sat in the hospital for days. Some days were lonely, some were scary, and some were okay. When Josh and the kids were with me I felt my best. Over all I was miserable and wanted to go home but I knew it was best for the babies. May 2nd, exactly a month later baby b's water broke. So again, I was given magnesium. 4 days later May 6th I started going into labor and it couldn't be stopped. I was only 28 weeks. I had to have emergency c- section. So at 8:08 and 8:09 Brody and Bryce were born. Identical twins boys :) They were beautiful and TINY. They are still in the NICU and that's where I spend most of my days. Little did I know they would be the best thing that ever happened to me. Along with my husband and other 2 children. Now I am just waiting for them to get home so we can be a big, happy, crazy family. The day they come home will be the best day ever!!!