This Weekend

This weekend I was hoping the babies would be home. We are close just not that close. Rachel and Jake came up to visit the babies. It was her first time to hold them. She was overjoyed.

  The hospital no longer allows twins to co bed so they have been apart for a few days now. I really want them together but I understand their concern for SIDS. I put them in bouncy seats and I think they knew they were close to each other by the way they were acting. 

  I had so much on my mind this weekend. The closer we get to coming home the more I am trying to wrap my brain around this.  4 kids is a lot! No doubt about it. No matter how many times I try to convince myself this will be easy, truth is it won't be. I have always had a good memory and these days I am forgetful. I have always been well organized with the other 2 and now I am scattered. I have always had a lot of energy and now I can barely keep up. All of this SCARES me. I want to be the best I can be to them and not lose myself in the process. I guess I won't know how any of this is going to work until they come home. I am very anxious to get them home. Juggling everything between home and the hospital is making me crazy. Hopefully at home things will be easier. 

Thankfully Josh's mom took the kids this weekend so we could care for the babies and do all the videos and CPR training we have to get done.

We are hoping one more  week and we are home! It's getting harder and harder to leave the babies. I have to get home to my other 2 while Josh works. All of this is hard but we are getting through it. We are closer now than before.  Thank God!